A Soon-To-Be Billionaire
By this time next week I intend to be a billionaire.
Yesterday in Denver, Colorado, President Obama signed a $737 billion economic stimulus bill giving cash to deserving, but broke, companies.
I qualify.
You see, in today’s economy my books have not been selling all that well.
But, I have an economic restructuring plan.
I’ll equip each of my books with little rubber wheels and attach a windshield wiper to the cover.
I’ll re-name my company Bluefishbooks Motors.
Then I’ll apply for a government bailout loan—as an auto company.
Hey, it worked for Chrysler, GM and Ford Motor Companies, why not for me?
Congress gave billions to failing car companies. So I’m sure they’ll subsidize my carbooks.
As a dollar-a-year CEO (not my idea, I assure you) of Bluefishbooks, I think I’ll give me a bonus. Oh. Oh. Oh, I can’t use the word bonus.
The government bailout people say the billions can’t be used for bonuses; I’ll have to do like the other CEOs do and give myself an Retention Incentive package.
We do that to keep our Best People, us, employed.
Please, visit my website for more www.cowart.info and feel free to look over and buy one of my books www.bluefishbooks.info
posted by John Cowart @ 7:58 AM
4 Comments:
Oh darn, left a very eloquent comment (ha!) earlier but Blogger ate it!
The crux of it was this:
1) as much as I realise that most of your post was tongue-in-cheek (books with wheels? Now that could appeal to revheads and literary types alike!), I truly hope you do qualify for some extra government benefit. These are tough times.
and 2) Thank you so much for your comment on my most recent post. What you said is like what I imagine a kind and calm father would say to me (my father loves me and does try to be kind, but he is unfortunately not at all calm, and would only get stressed and start talking medical malpractice suits, were I to tell him the story contained in my post)I very much appreciate the time and thought you always put into your words.
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Ill have a chat with Gordon Brown today and see if he could chip in for a bonus for you too.
Too funny! I hope you enjoy your billions :o) Could you send some our way? We could sure use it!
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