I Spread Light and Joy Wherever I Go

I’ve been down with a terrible cold—but I’m feeling much better now—Ginny, my bride of 40 years, has reservations about that.

Saturday as we dressed to go out for breakfast at Dave’s Diner, Ginny dolled herself up. She fixed her hair, put on her favorite weekend blouse (the one with beach umbrellas on it), and she freshened her lipstick.

When she sipped her coffee as we waited for our breakfast order, I noticed she’d dotted the rim of her coffee cup with lipstick.

Gave me an idea.

I switched coffee cups with her.

Then I beckoned our friend the waitress over to our table.

“There’s lipstick on my cup,” I said pointing it out to her.

That distressed her.

So I lifted the cup to my lips and licked the rim. “Oh,” I said, “That’s alright; it tastes delicious”.

Our friend the waitress and Ginny ganged up on me.

Some women have no sense of humor.

Later into our meal, Ginny dribbled a bit of egg on her blouse.

Ever the caring husband, I pointed this out.

She wet her napkin in her water glass and dabbed the front of her blouse. “Did that get it?” she asked.

“Still a bit left,” I said.

She wet her napkin again and scrubbed the spot again. “How’s that?” she asked.

“You need more water,” I said.

Again she dipped and dabbed. “That take care of it?”

“No,” I said, “You need more water”.

“John, That’s impossible. There’s nothing there”.

“No, but I think you’re about ready for the wet tee shirt contest”.

I thought that was funny as anything.

She just sighed.

My cold is over. I’m feeling great. I’m on a roll.

Ginny must be feeling better too. Before we left the restaurant, she showed me how to count to six on the fingers of one hand.

I couldn’t get the knack of it; she thought that was hilarious. I guess that must be an insider joke among accountants.

We drove downtown to the main library where I encountered one circulation clerk who apparently can not read or write, and another one who has not mastered the intricate skill of passing a bar code in front of the little red light on the scanner—Sometimes I think that in this country the wrong people are loosing their jobs.

Anyhow, when we returned home and Ginny backed the car into our drive, as she got out of the car, she almost stepped on a snake.

She yelled for me and I ran around the car to rescue her, but I saw it was a red rat snake (easily mistaken for a ratter) only about three feet long. Poor creature had sought to sun itself on the warm concrete of our drive.

I picked it up and moved it into the bromeliad bed in our back yard where it would be safe.

Besides rescuing her from serpents, as a Christian husband of 40 years standing, I feel it my duty to spread light and joy into my wife’s dull, drab existence.

Thus, while we have been sick with these awful colds, Ginny found that her hearing aids irritated her ears so she hasn’t worn them. This has made for some interesting conversations between us over past ten days. So, this afternoon when she was cleaning her ear pieces, I picked one up, held it like a microphone, and shouted, “Can You Hear Me Now… Good!”

“You’re definitely feeling better,” she said. “I think I liked you better when you were sick”.

A Christian spreading light and joy everywhere, that’s me.

Oh, by the way, Super Bowl commercials Sunday cost three million dollars a minute. They estimate that 98 million people world-wide will watch the game. All of you be sure to watch my Bluefish Books ad at the end of the game.

I feel sure my commercial will sell scads and scads of my books.

I’m feeling confident.

I’m feeling great, spreading light and joy wherever I go.