Sex Photo

Caution: this post contains explicit material which immature readers may find too intense-- or will not understand.

Wednesday I devoted myself to mechanical clerical stuff designed to help me catch my work up to where it was last November.

This involved restoring files and reviewing time management and work flow charts; and here I once thought that being a writer involved merely putting inspired ideas on paper.

Ha! Don’t I wish!

For me, once an inspired idea clicks, for it to go anywhere, I need practical tools, such as the time management and work flow charts. Otherwise, it stays nothing but a pipe dream.

So, while I did clerical stuff, I ran Blogger Play on my computer. Blogger Play is a real-time slideshow of photos which bloggers all over the world post on their sites. It fascinates me to see what other people are posting. Some photos just sell shoes or oven mitts, others are lovely. Clicking any photo traces it to its source.

Thus, when this photo flashed across my Blogger Play screen, it reminded me of Ginny and me. The photo comes from http://krazzypictures.blogspot.com/

It reminded me of us because I think this photo shows both the way we really are and the way we see ourselves after 40 years of marriage.

Looking at the photo I recalled an odd phone conversation I had with a young lady acquaintance about six or eight weeks ago. I can’t remember why she originally called me because I hardly know this girl, but as we talked she felt free to ask me some personal questions. I don’t know, but I think she used me as a sounding board related so some things going on in her own life.

Anyhow, she asked how many women I’ve ever had sex with.

What a curious question to ask a near stranger.

Maybe she felt free to ask because I am a stranger and because she felt safe.

I told her that I’ve only been with Ginny and my first wife.

“You’ve got to be kidding! How arcane,” she said. “That’s unheard of. You mean you’ve never had sex outside marriage”?

“That’s right,” I assured her.

“What about before you were married”?

No. I never did.

“That is so weird,” she said.

She asked, “What’s the matter? Don’t you like sex”?

That question broke me up laughing!

This poor child had no idea. Not a clue.

For us, sex is mostly joy. Age, health and agility may temper some of the ways we used to perform, but we are creative people and find no lack of fun, joy, laughter and geriatric passion in our bedroom.

Of course I like sex. But we keep it to ourselves.

Now, I can’t claim my own experience comes by virtue of being pure-hearted. Mostly it’s because women have never exactly thrown themselves at me. Lack of opportunity does not rack up credit points in virtue.

“You mean, you’ve ever even been tempted,” the young lady asked.

“Nonsense. Of course I’ve been tempted,” I said.

I recall once when an attractive Christian girl and I were on the verge of going to bed together. We discussed it over coffee in her apartment and mutually decided that such an action would be contrary to our individual characters.

Another time, within five minutes of lift off, the girl’s father interrupted us. I hate him—and I’m thankful for him.

I was faithful to my first wife as long as we were together.

And one reason I’ve remained faithful to Ginny is purely selfish—greater pleasure.

Just about anybody can plunk out Chopsticks on just about any old piano, but I’ve heard of a master concert pianist who ships his own Grand Piano from concert city to concert city. He keeps it tuned and polished and practices with no other. He could play some tune on any piano, but seeking the best, seeking perfection, he always plays his own Grand.

The young lady on the phone asked me if Ginny had ever been with any other man.

“Not that I know of,” I said. “Of course I haven’t locked her in a chastity belt for 40 years, but I’d be surprised if she had. She was a virgin when we married and I think that being a chaste person is part of her intrinsic character.”

“You two are so quaint,” the young lady said.

Way back when, Floyd, a crusty old truck driver, my mentor in driving 18-wheelers, told me, “The only pussy you’ll ever regret is the one you didn’t fuck”.

As a Christian I hate to admit that there’s a grain of truth in what he said, but there is.

I sometimes do regret that I did not take advantage of the few sexual opportunities I’ve had. On the other hand, I know of no marriage happier than ours, and I have no regret at all that I passed up on those other women.

Sometimes I think that the love Ginny and I have been given is what everybody else in the world is looking for.

So I look at this photo and think it represents the way we really are and the way we think of ourselves after 40 years of marriage…

Oh yes, by the way, it’s the shadow figures that are our reality.