A Decidedly Unchristian Rant!

I am a kind and gentle man.

I treat everyone on God’s green earth with kindness, tolerance, patience, compassion and charity — Everyone except for garbage men.

Them I can do without.

Monday is our regular trash collection day. As I have cleaned our garden shed, I scrupulously complied with every city regulation concerning trash. I made sure all trash was in cans or black plastic bags. No single item weighted over 40 pounds. It was placed neatly at the curb no more than 24 hours before scheduled pickup time.

The sorry bastards did not pick up my trash!

The three men on the truck decided that it was too heavy or something for their delicate little hands to handle. They parked at the curb, discussed the matter, then drove on leaving my garbage at the curb.

Before they got a full block away, I was on the phone to city hall. A recorded greeting from the mayor’s answering machine greeted me, but I punched through the abominable phone tree of city government to reach one of his flunkies.

I calmly explained the situation.

Well, the word calmly may exaggerate a bit.

The flunky tried to sidetrack me with questions about hazardous waste, (we take such stuff to the special collection point).Weight? (I said that I am pushing 70 and I carried every can and bag from our backyard to the curb by myself; and if one old guy could handle it, surely three strong young men, who earn more per hour than I ever did, should be able to lift a can of garbage all of three feet into the back of the truck!).

The flunky tried to fob me off by talking about budget cuts and offering to pick up the stuff next Monday — but I could not leave it at the curb for seven days; I’d have to move it again.

I said that some people are too sorry to be garbage men.

I want my garbage collected NOW!

I did my part, they should do theirs.

The flunky regretted ever answering the phone but relented if I’d agree to give them one hour to contact the truck. Don’t these people have radios or cell phones?

Sure enough, in an hour the same three guys and their truck appeared again at our door. For some reason in that hour, they’d decided my garbage cans were not too heavy to lift after all.

A pox on all their houses!

The problem with a stupid incident like this is that it’s mind-consuming.

I have fumed about this all day.

While Ginny shopped for groceries this evening, at 9 o’clock at night, I sat on a bench outside the grocery store still replaying the whole thing in my mind again and again. I can’t let go of it.

These sorry garbage men pulled my chain.

Outside the grocery store I fumed hating their guts, and trying as a mediocre Christian to pray for them. Ever heard of imprecatory prayers?

But these guys pushed my overload button!

You know, sometimes in my heart, I pray that after my death I will be remembered as a man who loved. I want genuine love to characterize my life.

That’s some goal for a misanthrope, isn’t it?

I overload on people easily and I recharge my batteries by being alone. I just can’t cope with too many people in a day. I’d make a great Christian hermit. Boy, can I be pious when nobody’s around to rub me the wrong way.

In thinking about the garbage men, I again realized that life is hard and I think it a great sin to make somebody’s life harder than it needs to be. Then I got to wondering how often I do that very thing myself?

Can it be that Jesus died for garbage men, city hall flunkies, and even me too?

Hard for me to believe that this evening.

But, in case you haven’t noticed, when it comes to loving people, the Lord Jesus is downright odd.

Oh, my!

Isn’t it blasphemous to say Jesus is odd?

I looked the word up in the dictionary just to make sure. Odd is defined as “differing markedly from the usual, ordinary, or expected”.

Yep. That’s Him alright.