500 Naked Women & Me

Yes, I know I said I would not post today. But...

Friday morning I had just begun work when an error message flashed on my computer screen informing me that I was out of virtual memory.

That message defined the rest of my day.

OK. I scanned my computer for viruses. I ran Spybot and Ad-Aware. I rebooted the system. I cut off the power, let it sit for half an hour, then plugged the cord back in.

Still out of virtue memory… (No, that’s not a typo).

You see, never once have I turned on my computer without being tempted to visit some porno site to see what the naked ladies are up to today. Sometimes I resist that temptation; sometimes I don’t.

So when the usual computer re-start things failed to work, I decided to clear my picture files.

I deleted over 500 naked women.

Looks to me as though if you erase a file, then that would free up the space that file had been taking up — Right?

Apparently not.

The error message remained.

I called my son Donald, a computer network administrator. He and Helen and Ginny all got together after they got off work to doctor my computer.

Ginny said that pubic hair from all those women must be tangled in my operating system.

Everybody laughed at me.

Donald increased my virtual page files and defragmented my hard drive.

That helped.

Helen says we need to install an external hard drive (As I understand it, that’s sort of like an electronic colostomy bag that hangs on the side of my central processing unit to hold all the crap I write).

Now, I have an observation about all this:

First is sin.

Yes, I am a Christian; and yes, I am a sinner.

The two fit hand-in-glove.

And, yes I do struggle against my temptations; and yes, I have virtually no power over them because of the water balloon principle.

My heart resembles a balloon filled with squishy sins; when I push it in one place, it bulges out another.

When I resist viewing naked internet women, then sure as anything, I’ll begin to resent somebody’s actions. When I push in resentment, greed bulges out on the other side. When I beat my greed back down, then envy emerges. Fight envy, and there I am back to lust again.

And, here’s the kicker:

When I exercise my great strength of will and don’t look at the naked internet women, when I conquer resentment, when I stifle greed, when I defeat envy —— Then the worse sin in the bag swells up like a giant yellow pustule.

I feel self-righteous.

While keeping all this corruption inside me, I still want to appear to be a good guy. I want other people to think well of me. So in pride I strap on my good-guy mask and fake it.

Such hypocrisy is the sin Jesus condemned most.

The last state of the man is worse than the first.

See why a Savior is needed?

Once, long years ago, a college professor told me that I have a weak Armenian, Amillennial, Antinomian view of sin and salvation. I think he was saying that I’d never make it as a theologian because I’m wrong.

There.

I’ve warned you

As I see it, Saint Paul struggled with sin in a similar battle. He said, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do…. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me”.

He went on to say, “I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death”?

See why a Savior is needed?

The Christmas angel proclaimed, “And thou shalt call His name Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins”.

Paul said, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”.

Thus, Christ suffered on the cross for us, the Just for the unjust that He might bring us to God. Because the love of God is shown toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

So, here’s John Cowart living day after day like a bug stuck on flypaper, nailed down hand and foot by sin as surely as one of those sinners crucified on each side of Jesus. No amount of wiggle or twist or maneuver or scam will get me free. Death is certain and gruesome.

All I can do is call out, “Lord Jesus, remember me when Thou cometh into thy kingdom”.

And like that one guy on a cross beside Jesus, I can thank God for His mercy.

Or not.

———

On a different note:

Remember yesterday how I wrote about seeking God’s will in making a business decision?

One of the Scriptures I kept in mind was the Proverb, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to thy own understanding…”

Last night Donald and Helen announced they are considering a new business venture that would change the whole direction of my writing career.

They have never even given a hint, not an inkling, that this idea was in the works till last night.

I didn’t have a clue.

If, I had gone with either one of the companies I was thinking about, I would have torpedoed my own part in their exciting plans.

So, while on the surface it looks as though I made an irrational decision, maybe, just maybe, much good will come of that decision.

Christian life is not just for then and there, way back when; but it’s here and now, today.

I’m impressed with what may possibly be God’s guidance.

We’re all excited at the prospects.

We’ll see what happens.

Thanks be to God.