I Collect Women’s Underwear

I collect women’s panties, bras, teddies, slips and other such garments.

At the moment eight large black plastic leaf bags filled with such dainties stuff the trunk of our car.

No. I am not a pervert — at least, not that sort of pervert.

The reason I collect such items of female apparel is to deliver it to poor people at a local rescue mission. Actually, I don’t collect the stuff; it’s just that friends, family and neighbors bring it to our house so that we can deliver it to the mission.

I’m not sure why they don’t deliver it to a mission themselves. This puzzles me but it has gone on this way for years. In fact last week one guy drove within two blocks of the mission on his way to bring the donations to our house so we could deliver it.

Go figure.

A lot of people in their after-Christmas clean up have sorted through their closets culling out old clothing to make room for new stuff, and they bring the castoffs to our house for us to take to the mission.

I use the term “the mission” loosely because Ginny and I have worked with a bunch of various missions to the poor over the years, so we use the term collectively; we take the stuff to whichever mission the Spirit dictates (meaning whichever one is most convenient for us on a given day).

Once, about five years ago, such a practice got me into an embarrassing situation (See John’s Great Brassier Hunt)

The poor are always with you and are always a pain in the ass!

That’s not Scripture, but it’s the way I feel.

Anyhow, please do not mail me your panties (fun as that may be); instead take them to your own local mission. This is important because, while many generous people donate sweaters, coats, pants, shirts and kids’ outfits, every mission I’ve ever worked with has a shortage of underwear and socks.

Those items are always in short supply and will always be appreciated.

Please be sure the elastic is not stretched; Jesus deserves the best we can give His poor through us.

Occasionally, Ginny will buy new packages of socks and underwear on sale in various sizes for men, women and children to donate to the mission. She feels this is an excellent use of tithe money.

Now, concerning my doctor’s visit yesterday:

Our doctor spent a little more than two hours with us. Most of that time he spent filling out paperwork and just hanging around with us (I think he enjoys our company for some reason). He advises that we gather a lot of information first before reaching a final decision about my prostate cancer and other such potential problems.

He chose not to do the biopsies on my chest and shoulder himself. Instead he referred me to a dermatologist.

And to a neurologist.

And to a radiologist.

And to an oncologist.

And to a pharmacist.

And to a urologist.

And, of course, to the medical group’s resident numismatist.

We’ll see a lot of that last guy on the list!

All that was yesterday. Then, a few minutes ago as I was typing this, the office nurse phoned saying I should also go to an oral surgeon.

To get a mouthwash prescription!

I’m afraid I was quite rude to the young lady.

But yesterday our doctor waxed poetic about one thing. In a few days he and his wife leave for Africa. Each year they sacrifice his American practice for a couple of months to serve without pay in some third world country.

The thought of practicing hands-on medicine without paperwork, insurance companies, paperwork, referrals, paperwork, appointments, paperwork, records, or paperwork — it all make the man giddy!

He won’t have to fiddle with minor complaints like mine but be able to practice real medicine among people who are seriously sick and he can make a lifesaving difference among people who have no access to any doctor otherwise.

I introduced him to the idea of keeping a blog while over there and the idea thrilled him. He intends to check the idea out with expedition leaders and if he gets approval, I’ll post a link. He may not be able to do this. Because of world conditions such service may require a low profile and publicity may prove dangerous. I’ll keep you posted.

Anyhow, my own situation is one of fact finding and information gathering over a couple of months before I decide among various treatment options — if I chose any.

I think of Psalm 71, sometimes called An Old Man's Prayer; part of it says:

O God, thou hast taught me from my youth:
and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works.
Now also, when I am old and gray-headed,
O God, forsake me not;
until I have showed thy strength unto this generation,
and thy power to everyone that is to come!

——Psalm 71:17-18

At the moment Ginny and I classify our medical situation as what she terms JADN — Just Another Damn Nuisance!

Meanwhile, I plan to return to thinking about quality of life issues, things really important to me.

Right now that means returning to work on those two exciting 17th Century Puritan diaries I’ve been studying. I hope to scan them into my computer and publish them soon.

And, of course, I have to do something about all those women’s panties in the trunk of my car.