An Insidious Plot

O God, who on the mount didst reveal to chosen witnesses thine only-begotten Son wonderfully transfigured, in raiment white and glistering; Mercifully grant that we, being delivered from the disquietude of this world, may be permitted to behold the King in his beauty, who with thee, O Father, and thee, O Holy ghost, liveth and reigneth, one God, world without end. Amen.

That was the prayer Ginny and I read last night as part of our regular devotions after supper.

Appropriate.

Thursday was a day of disquietude.

On the Cowart home front, the doctor says Ginny’s heart murmur sounds worse; even though she’s had this same condition for over 30 years, he now recommends she visit a specialist.

According to the tv news police in England arrested 24 moslems who intended to board a dozen or so airliners as passengers and explode bombs in mid-flight over American cities. Apparently the plotters intended to manufacture the bombs by combining ordinary household items, hair gel, peroxide, toothpaste, etc., into an explosive mix; they would carry the ingredients aboard then mix the stuff in flight to kill themselves, everyone on board, and anyone on the ground where the plane crashed.

This news generated chaos and disquietude, especially at airports, all over the world as thousands of travelers were screened for hand lotion, sun block, perfume, any sort of liquid or gel.

In fact the news per se created almost disruption as the attack itself would have.

No real surprise in any of this.

Jesus once told His disciples, “They shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the time cometh that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service”. (John 16:2)

The murder and disquietude that goes on in this world is to be expected.

The old saying, To Hell In A Handbasket originated for a reason.

No one needed hairspray baby formula or toothpaste to disrupt my day yesterday — Google did it for them.

Yes, Google hatched this insidious plot to undermine my life and work.

When I started to work intending to produce great literature in the morning, I clicked on my Google homepage and noticed a new feature: Google video.

Curious, I clicked the link to see what’s new now.

Thumbnails appeared so I could watch video clips. Thousands of video clips.

I watched two guys drop Mentos breath mints into 115 bottles of diet coke — Spectacular!

I watched canoeists crack up on rocks, buildings implode, kids ride bikes into bushes, and an oriental guy fold a tee shirt.

I watched guys throw darts at each other, people lip-sync songs, a volcano erupt, a cute puppy with a ball, and a spider eat a bug.

I watched a motorcycle jump a moving truck (almost). I watched a guy do a split trying to board a row boat. I watched a thief snatch a purse, and old lady ride a merry-go-round, and a girl in a bikini vigorously bounce on the edge of her bed without coming out.

In the interest of research I watched that last one three times.

Even with buffering, each Google video search clip only lasts from eight seconds to five minutes, but there are thousands of them. When you click any one, a menu with dozens of others appears in the sidebar. Like potato chips, you can’t eat just one.

Instead of working, I watched mindless video clips for hours.

If God had not created me with kidneys, I would have never left the computer (in a rush, running toward the back, bursting).

If ever doctors, moslems or Google-related terrorists want to disrupt and destroy my life, mind, and productivity, they don’t need to fiddle with the mess and bother of hair gel, all they have to do is provide me with more video clips.

I’ll take it from there myself.