My Forgetery Works Real Good

My name is John —J-O-H-N.

The Titanic sank on April 14, 1912.

Jacksonville, my hometown, was founded in 1829.

Polycarp was the immediate successor to Christ’s apostles.

My wife’s name is Virginia and we’ve been married for ??years for a long time.

I remember important facts like those above. I tend to forget little, less important facts.

For instance, Tuesday morning my youngest son — who is thirty-one or 32 or 33 or 34 years old (I forget exactly) — called me.

“Dad,” he said, “Do you know which hospital I was born in?”

I racked my brain. I couldn’t remember. I think I remember being able to smoke in the expectant father’s waiting room back then, but which hospital that waiting room was in escapes my memory.

I suggested he call Ginny at work. She might possibly remember where he was born — women are good at remembering little details like that..

He wanted her office number. I call her once or twice every week. But I can never remember her work number. I put Donald on hold while I looked it up; I have it written on the wall in the kitchen.

“Why do you want to know which hospital,” I asked him, once I’d looked up her phone number.

“I need to know the name of the hospital to get a copy of my birth certificate,” he said. “I need it to get my passport,” he said.

“What do you need a passport for?” I asked.

He told me that he is going to Europe this fall.

First I’d heard of it.

Ever.

He told me that not only is he going himself, but he is taking six other members of our family with him!

“What!”

“Yes,” he said, “Seven us of are going. Me and a friend from work will attend a computer conference — the company is sending us — and the girls are going to tour”.

“Wow! When did all this come up?” I asked.

“Dad, I told you all about it. Don’t you remember?”

“This is the first I’ve heard a word about it,” I said.

“Dad, we told you all about it at the birthday party (see my July 10^th blog in the archives). We planned the whole thing right there and told you all about it”.

I don’t remember ever hearing anything at all about a minor thing like seven members of my family all going to Europe

That’s news to me.

He says they told me, but I don’t remember.

Ginny would know all about when and where our children were born; she remembers little things like that.

And she remembers my address too.

I remember that the Greeks fought off the Persians at the battle of Thermopylae.

And I remember that yesterday Donald told me that everybody is going to either Sweden or Switzerland.

I can’t remember which.

They both begin with Sw…