A Living Saint

Worked at my desk all day.

Watched tv all evening.

Got nothing else to say … Except here’s a great joke:

George and Joe, twin brothers, tried to outdo each other in being mean, evil, conniving, sorry, wicked men.

They cheated on their wives. They embezzled from their business partners. They foreclosed on widows and orphans. They corrupted young people. They bribed building inspectors. They never left tips for waitresses. They aggravated neighbors with frivolous law suits. They made life harder than it needs to be for everyone they met.

Then Joe died.

Now George had little use for religion but he got the notion that he wanted his brother buried from a church.

He went to the pastor of a small struggling church and said, “You know who I am? You know about my brother’s heart attack”.

“Yes. Everybody in town knows the two of you”.

“You willing to burry Joe from your church”?

“Yes I am. All men deserve a decent funeral”.

“I got little use for religion,” George said, “But I’ll tell you what. When you preach Joe’s funeral, I want you to say these exact words – ‘Joe was a living saint’! If you’ll say them exact words, then I’ll hand you a check for $10,000 for your building fund; But if you don’t say them exact words – Joe was a living saint – then I won’t give you nothing”.

The preacher thought it over and agreed.

“I thought you would,” George said. “You preachers go around acting holier than anybody else, but when it comes to money, you’re all moneygrubbers. But just to make sure you don’t go back on your word, I’m gonna tell everybody in town about our deal – you’re going to stand right behind that pulpit and say, Joe was a living saint”.

Well, George spread the word. He told the guys at the barbershop, the ladies at the supermarket, everybody everywhere, that for $10.000 that hypocrite preacher was going to say, “Joe was a living saint”.

Come the day of the funeral the whole town turned out to see if the preacher would really do it.

The minister entered the pulpit and said, “Friends, you all know how Joe lived. He cheated on his wife. He embezzled from his business partners. He foreclosed on widows and orphans. He corrupted young people. He bribed building inspectors. He never left tips for waitresses. He aggravated neighbors with frivolous law suits. He made life harder than it needs to be for everyone he met.

"We all know Joe was a mean, evil, conniving, sorry, wicked man. But, compared to his brother, Joe was……