"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, ..."

Down & depressed for several reasons, some external but most of them from within myself.

I get this way periodically. So it’s a pain in the ass, but no big deal.

External factors included:

· Computer problem with my bookstore front. Even if someone wanted to buy one of my books, they’d have a hard time navigating the site. In the same vain, I received printer proofs of the Stacy Letters and find a pagination problem which throws the index off. AGGGGG!

· A letter from a Civil War buff pointing out what he says are ten factual errors in a history piece I wrote many years ago. To check out the accuracy of the information I’ll have to dig out moldering files in storage.

· Letdown from pool work: as usual when finishing a project I’m experiencing a backlash. You know, the way you feel after final exams in school. Perfectly normal, but depressing nonetheless. Besides, yesterday I discovered a pump seal leaking which meant dismantling a bunch of work and taking the pump to the repair shop.

· Also, the cleanup from the pool project remains to be done and I find it overwhelming. I still have lots of dirt, shoveled from the pool bed, to distribute and spread to low places in the yard. I’m growing to my shovel.

· Several of my children face major decisions and I’m concerned about them.

· Several friends and neighbors tell me about developing tensions.

· Several people have asked favors which will require extra physical work and time from me if I choose to help out.

Internally, I feel I’m a useless looser spending more and more wasted days in a wasted life. This is my normal mental outlook, although I think my own view of reality may be a bit skewed; cain’t nobody be as bad as I feel I am.

Then I feel a tad guilty that as a Christian I feel the way I do because I’m told that Christians are supposed to be happy folks filled with joy, confidence, purpose and all that crap. Those things are beyond my daily experience.

I’d like for life to get back to normal – but the thought comes that This Is Normal!

My meager devotions feel hollow. less than shallow. I have a hard time remembering what Bible passage we read last night… O yes, it was about the transfiguration. (If you’d like to read my take on that odd occurrence in a science fiction piece I wrote years ago, please take a look at the Transfiguration Of What’s His Name ).

Sorry I don’t have anything more positive to say in my blog today, but if I only wrote about the good times, that would not be honest and would not reflect the Christian Life as she is lived – at least by this one guy.

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, What did you think of the play”?