My Life In A Pinball Machine

I haven’t seen one in years but back when I was a kid, every store sported a pinball machine.

Shoving a nickel in the slot released a steel ball bearing which a spring-loaded plunger shot up an incline plane. As the ball rolled down toward a hole at the base, it hit various obstacles. Contact caused colored lights to flash and bells to ring.

On each side of the hole where the ball would eventually disappeared, were flippers which knocked the ball up the plane again when you hit buttons on the side of the machine.

The player received no reward but bells and lights.

My activities today remind me of a pinball machine.

I play the roll of the ball:

Sprong! Up at 3:30 a.m. to catch up weekend e-mail and such.

Flip! Pack Ginny’s lunch and dress for and appointment with Dr. #1.

Flip! The yard trash men who were supposed to have been here Friday, arrive and place trash cans in the drive so I have to move them before moving the car.

Flip.! Ginny drops me on King Street as she drives to work. Walk to the Whiteway Delicatessen (one of my favorite places for breakfast) where I chat with Sammy, the owner, about Springfield history and high rents..

Flip! Backtrack to the bank to give our house payment to a cashier who had never received one before. I hope it gets credited to us.

Flip. Walk to Dr. #1’s appointment. Get my eyes dilated. Twice.

Flip. Call Warren for a ride home.

Flip. Go to second doctor’s office to pick up a referral so I can see Dr. # 3.

Flip. Arrive home to find a message from Dr. # 2 returning my call from Friday. Sorry he missed me; I can try going through the Automated Telephone Answering Machine Experience again if I really need to talk with him (Like, why else would I have called?).

Flip! Call Dr. # 4 to make an appointment. Informed I must go to Lab # 5 first.

Flip! Call Dr. #4’s office again but the lady wants me to read tiny numbers off the referral from Dr. # 1 and since my eyes are still dilated from Dr. # 432-8765 I can’t read the damn numbers. … I guess at them, or make them up wholesale (I figure she can read the numbers herself when I take the papers to her office)

Good thing I’m not sick; all this stuff is for routine tests. What do people who are actually ill have to go through?

Finally I am home. I can relax. Eye’s dilated. Can’t read or work so I’ll take a nap…

Flip!

Scratching at the front door. My neighbor’s dog has climbed the fence and wants into our living room. I let the dog in, give her a bowl of milk, get dressed, find my shoes, and take her back into her own yard. Back home to resume my nap.

Flip! The phone rings. It is Dr. # 1’s secretary – no, not my doctor # 1, but Ginny’s doctor #1. She’s not sick either, but the doctor still wants to see her again.

Flip. Flip. Flip – Glanced outside to see that the Polaris Pool Cleaner had flipped onto it’s back and is happily pumping galleons of water arching into the air to splash down onto the electric plugs. So, ankle-deep in water, I undid the plugs…

And not once today did colored lights flashed or bells ring …

THEN GINNY CAME HOME – Rings my chimes every time!

She baked me a cake!

Now it’s time for Monday Night Football.

All’s right with the world.