On being a cheerful, happy, glowing Christian -- Damn it!

Sometimes I hate being a Christian.

Today was one of those times.

Earlier this week someone brought to my attention that one of my neighbors has been pissed over something I did.

Well, my first reaction is to say, “To Hell with ‘em”! I didn’t do anything wrong, in fact what I did was right and she has no reason to get her ass on her shoulders. It didn’t involve her and it’s none of her damn business”.

Then I went through all sorts of mental gymnastics justifying what I’d done and why she has no business being offended. She really needs to grow up and move on.

I decided to withdraw and that the best thing to do was simply to avoid contact with her from now on.

But, being a Christian of sorts, I could not help remembering the Scripture from Matthew 5:23-24, where Jesus said,

“If thou bring they gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, then come and offer thy gift”.

In other words, when there are hard feelings, even it they are not my fault then I need to be the one to make the initial move and take the first step in straightening them out.

What a pain in the ass!

I’m not in the wrong about this.

Why should I be the one to apologize?

Jesus has all these dumb rules that make me belly-crawl even when I do the right thing. I’m the good guy here. Now, I can see going to another person who has offended me and trying to get things straight, but I’m not the tender, delicate offended party here.

Nevertheless, the Scripture stands.

It boils down to whether or not I intend to follow Jesus. He is my Lord, or He’s not.

So, I’ve avoided meeting the person all week long. But this morning I called to be sure she was at home and I drove over there and apologized.

I went with much mumbling and grumbling and vexation of spirit – but I went. (NOTE: if you obey but gripe about it, you loose all your spiritual brownie points)

Turns out, she says, that the original report was wrong. She was not pissed at me at all but at somebody else altogether. But I would have assumed animosity from now on if I had not marched over there and straightened out things between us.

The words of Jesus are often a pain, but sometimes they make sense.

But I could do without all this anguish of spiritand bitterness I've been feeling. I really truly did not want to go talk with this woman. But I felt I had to make that first move.

I’ve got to stop reading all that Scripture, it messes up my head when I take it seriously.

Enjoyed breakfast at Dave’s with my friend Barbara. We talked about her family. In relation to them, she reminds me of some tragic character from Greek mythology, sort of Sisyphus, Prometheus, and Cassandra all rolled into one.

Barbara is reading my Lulu book I'm Confused About Prayer and says she will write a brief review for my Lulu storefront at www.bluefishbooks.info.

Worked on the Stacy Letters for a short time this afternoon.

This week, four people have asked me about doing yard work for them. How can I get another book written behind a lawnmower? Of course, judging from my book sales, I make one hell of a good yard trash man.